The Relationship Overshare Thread

Justice said:
Women (especially older ones, Jesus Christ the cougars are a relentless species) throw themselves at me but I am totally gay. I don't have men throwing themselves at me because I don't ping their gaydar. People do not believe me when I tell them I am gay. The women think I'm just saying that because I'm not interested in them.
Click to expand...
I met my best and oldest friend when I was 18, working my first job in a grocery store (Food-4-Less). We hit it off immediately. I remember the first night I went over to his apartment we talked comic books and movies and cartoons and sci-fi and cryptids and mythology and at some point I thought someone left their car lights on because light was coming in under the vertical blinds in the living room... Nope. That's the sun.
Another coworker pulled me aside a week later to say, "You know Bret's gay, right? Look how he dresses."
I didn't believe him because black jeans, black motorcycle boots, red tuxedo shirt, black leather duster, and a black wide-brimmed hat with a purple feather looked badass. Ain't no way a guy that dresses like that can be gay.




(In Morgan Freeman's voice, "He was super-fucking gay.)
 
Like in the Joe thread, I'm just jumping in and not rereading four or so pages of posts, but I get the general idea of what's going on.

My oldest son is 25. He's my wife's son from a previous relationship. I've been with her since he was 2, so I'm the only father figure he's ever known. He just got out of a relationship, and moved back home "for a little while". I put that in quotes because he's always had such grand ideas, but never has followed through. He wants save up to buy a house, but always has packages showing up at the house. He says he did all the cleaning with his ex, but his clothes are spread all over the basement (it's partially finished and my younger two go down there to play). He has a good job (mechanic for the town), but is eating everyone else's food. When he moved back in, my wife told him we weren't going to have the same issues we had before he moved out with food and drink stuff all over the basement. I've found four Pop-tart wrappers, wrappers from snacks we bought specifically for my daughter. Last week my two other sons were playing around down there (Nerf war), and a half full beer can was knocked over. The older one texted me about it. I told him to text Mom and tell her. He did, and I never heard anything from her about it. He told me he plans on being out by Spring...but didn't specify what year. Over the weekend my sis-in law called him a "Forever Manchild" which my wife got mad about. Sorry...but she has a point. Right now he pays his car payment, and insurance, and his phone bill. Yeah, those can add up, but he's making at least $25+ an hour and works constant overtime. I keep asking him about getting a storage unit, because our garage is his current storage unit. The snow is coming, and I'm done asking. After the first big snowfall where my wife's car isn't put in the garage, she should have something to say...but probably not.
 
Last edited:
That sounds so much like my sister. When she says she can't afford to move out what she really means is she can't afford to move out and continue to buy like she does now. Once when I mentioned it to her she had the nerve to mention that I was always buying action figures to which I responded "yeah but I'm also always paying a mortgage, utilities, groceries, etc". I sure wouldn't be doing that living at home mooching off our parents.
 
My wife has two kids that were 8 and 3 when we got married 12 years ago. The now 20 year old moved out last year in with her boyfriend that ended poorly/violently. She was welcome back at her house, but couldn't bring her cat (I'm deathly allergic) so my wife co-signed a lease for her without my knowledge. The lease is the same our mortgage.
 
Man, do we all have the same sister, because a lot of yours sounds like mine! 😅 She's 36, with a now 17 year old kiddo, and her choice in men is....interesting, to say the least. She unfortunately always falls for the big, burly country type guy; not quiiiite the kind you see in profiled pictures wearing sunglasses and hats in their trucks, but not too far off. A lot of them have been in the army in the past and either have some lingering mental issues or are just total schmucks. Half of them have been passively homophobic to me and my boyfriend. But she loves them and makes every excuse for them. I see how shitty they are, my poor Mom (who lives in the same house and, because of her physical disabilities, relies on my sister for a lot, is subject to all my sister's drama and can't do a darn thing about it) also sees how shitty they are, but my sister shuts her down the second she tries to bring it up. My Dad was a piece of shit alcoholic abuser, and my Mom is seeing a lot of the same early signs in my sister's boyfriends, especially her current one, but my sister's got her love blinders on.

Her current boyfriend got out of the army maybe a year and a half ago. The plan was it was going to be his last tour- he's been in for either 20 or 25 years now, has like 5 or 6 kids of his own, and so he was gonna take the pension, retire, get a house somewhere to get his kids away from their shitty Mom (I tell ya, my sister's drama always has so many layers, it would make an onion jealous). Apparently he was supposed to meet certain requirements upon getting out to start getting the pension, which I don't think he's done yet. He mooches off my sister for rides since he doesn't have a car of his own. He'll invite himself over to the house, often just by walking in unannounced. My sister, who's the one who cooks, can often spend an hour or more making dinner for everyone, and more often than not, as soon as it's ready, he'll take one look at it and say he's gonna go get fast food somewhere. Last holiday season she even let him move in to the house (her room is in the basement), and hadn't run it by my Mom at all. Thank god it was only a temporary thing and he's since moved out (and moved back in his with his ex/baby mama). Helen Keller could see all the red flags this guy's got going on, but because he calls my sister pretty and spends time with her and her kiddo, she's head over heels for him.

I do love my sister, of course, but she's hard to root for sometimes. She and I each took after one of our parents moreso than the other, and she definitely took after my dad. Not her fault, of course, but she also makes no strides to better herself. She's very quick to anger and outbursts, she won't take responsibility for any wrongdoing and hides behind lies (the amount of times she's made my poor Mom feel crazy by saying "I told you X thing a couple days ago" when caught in a lie is absurd, honestly). She has a job as a school crossing guard which, while she loves it and the kids love her, doesn't pay well and she only works a handful of hours a week, but she has no desire to look for anything better. She does help my Mom with a lot of things- she's there to pick her up when her legs give out, etc., but there's so much around the house that she doesn't do- things that clearly need to be done- and because of that, my Mom just ends up doing them and hurting herself more. My Mom, who's practically made of glass at this point, has to park in the driveway or the street because my sister has claimed the garage, which, especially in the winter, when my Mom is in constant pain, is such a hassle for her. My Mom pays for most of the things around the house; my sister pays for food because she's on food stamps, but almost everything else is my Mom's money. She is in therapy, but refuses to take any sort of medication for her issues because she took one medication one time and it gave her a slightly bad reaction. But she also just doesn't think she has any issues. It's maddening. And I feel like that's just half the story; I'd probably crash the forum mentioning all the other layers to the story.

While I'm certainly sorry that others are dealing with their share of family drama, it does make me feel slightly better knowing I'm not the only one with a hard-to-handle sister. 😅 And all of this is on top of my nibling (my sister's kiddo- their preferred term, since they're non-binary), who just started dating for the first time as well. I love them to death, and I'm happy they're happy, but man, looking at young love from an older, more experienced standpoint, and knowing full well I was just as cringe-inducingly sappy with things before life made me jaded; it's both slightly painful and lovely to see. I hope they never lose that wide-eyed optimism, but the odds are against them, poor thing.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top