G.I. Joe Head Canon & Fanfic Filecards
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docsilence
Dungeon Daddy
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Had every intention of continuing, honestly, but now that I'd done very character who has been done in this line and a bunch beyond I wanted to simmer a bit.
Those posts felt like they were getting less traction and there were way fewer characters so I didn't want to rush them. Plus those are like fever dreams because the MOTU continuity is so inconsistent, so where I can read a few bios and take some real world inspiration for a File Card, I need to really be in a dream space to make something worthwhile with MOTU. I was going to do Beast Man next, I think, or possibly Sorceress.
Ru1977
The Irishman
Maybe take a weekend and some Mescaline, and have at it on those MOTU stories.
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In other words, @NORM, just wait until Doc starts getting loads of new MOTU toys and he gets all excited and goes on a lore binge.
docsilence
Dungeon Daddy
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The way this shit-ass week has been, I would love to get high as a kite and write MOTU stories all weekend.
I mean I did just get a bunch of the 200x figures super cheap last week and got my brain cooking a bit.
docsilence
Dungeon Daddy
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Code Name: Voltar
File Name: Unknown
Primary Military Specialty: Mercenary
Secondary Military Specialty: infantry Commander
Birthplace: Unknown
Rank: O-7 Equivalent
Little information is known about the mercenary general known as Voltar. He has featured prominently as a hired gun and military commander for a number of provisional governments, revolutionary councils, and military dictatorships, but has proven to be so successful in the campaigns waged under his command that every government or world leader who has hired him has since paid him to go away. Voltar, it is rumored, is a brilliant war leader and could, if he had such ambitions, have led coups against any number of his former employers. Instead, the man appears to simply revel in victory. He wins a war, takes his money, and leaves, often to the detriment of his former employers as they scramble to fill the gap left by his departure. The Lewis administration is unaware of Voltar's current whereabouts or employer.
"Is Voltar working for Destro? No, Voltar is a paid leadership consultant for MARS Industries, darling, it's not the same thing. Voltar is a human insurance policy - you pay him to win wars, and he wins them. Destro knows his time, and frankly his tolerance and patience, with the Lewis administration is limited, and the time before the Lewis administration implodes and starts betraying its allies is equally short. What Destro is doing is setting up MARS to survive the purge an weather the tempest that will rage when Cobra Commander returns to form and falls to pieces. This means hiring the best generals; holding back his best designs rather than selling them to the government; and buying the loyalty of top-tier Iron Grenadiers to be Voltar's sword in the coming chaos."
File Name: Unknown
Primary Military Specialty: Mercenary
Secondary Military Specialty: infantry Commander
Birthplace: Unknown
Rank: O-7 Equivalent
Little information is known about the mercenary general known as Voltar. He has featured prominently as a hired gun and military commander for a number of provisional governments, revolutionary councils, and military dictatorships, but has proven to be so successful in the campaigns waged under his command that every government or world leader who has hired him has since paid him to go away. Voltar, it is rumored, is a brilliant war leader and could, if he had such ambitions, have led coups against any number of his former employers. Instead, the man appears to simply revel in victory. He wins a war, takes his money, and leaves, often to the detriment of his former employers as they scramble to fill the gap left by his departure. The Lewis administration is unaware of Voltar's current whereabouts or employer.
"Is Voltar working for Destro? No, Voltar is a paid leadership consultant for MARS Industries, darling, it's not the same thing. Voltar is a human insurance policy - you pay him to win wars, and he wins them. Destro knows his time, and frankly his tolerance and patience, with the Lewis administration is limited, and the time before the Lewis administration implodes and starts betraying its allies is equally short. What Destro is doing is setting up MARS to survive the purge an weather the tempest that will rage when Cobra Commander returns to form and falls to pieces. This means hiring the best generals; holding back his best designs rather than selling them to the government; and buying the loyalty of top-tier Iron Grenadiers to be Voltar's sword in the coming chaos."
docsilence
Dungeon Daddy
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Code Name: Mistress Armada
File Name: Osborne, Lillian
Primary Military Specialty: Special Air Services
Secondary Military Specialty: Infiltration
Birthplace: Glasgow, Scotland
Rank: Operations Officer
Ms. Osborne has quickly become one of President Lewis's most trusted staffers. A rising star in the administration, she works tirelessly alongside Lewis and is by his side at almost all times. She acts as a go-between for the President with his international relations advisor, Anastasia Decobray and has been considered for a promotion under the Secretary of State, though insiders say that Lewis is loathe to let Osborne go - she may not be his right hand, precisely, but she has become a sounding board, a sympathetic ear, and someone he knows he can rely on to help make the day to day work of the office smoother. We are lucky to have her as a member of our team.
"Armada has worked for MARS Industries all along, of course. We poached her from the SAS within minutes of her last tour, recognizing her skill both as a soldier and as a potential spy. She expanded her craft studying under Baroness and has tucked away that Glaswegian accent behind an American flyover state dialect with almost eerie precision. She rapidly gained the trust of Lewis, who never met her in his guise as Cobra Commander and with startling alacrity has charmed her way into his good graces. We now have an ear in every meeting, in every call, in every late-night rant as Lewis roams the White House in his bunny slippers. Armada is perhaps the wrong name for her - she is our munitions cache to shoot our way out if things go wrong."
File Name: Osborne, Lillian
Primary Military Specialty: Special Air Services
Secondary Military Specialty: Infiltration
Birthplace: Glasgow, Scotland
Rank: Operations Officer
Ms. Osborne has quickly become one of President Lewis's most trusted staffers. A rising star in the administration, she works tirelessly alongside Lewis and is by his side at almost all times. She acts as a go-between for the President with his international relations advisor, Anastasia Decobray and has been considered for a promotion under the Secretary of State, though insiders say that Lewis is loathe to let Osborne go - she may not be his right hand, precisely, but she has become a sounding board, a sympathetic ear, and someone he knows he can rely on to help make the day to day work of the office smoother. We are lucky to have her as a member of our team.
"Armada has worked for MARS Industries all along, of course. We poached her from the SAS within minutes of her last tour, recognizing her skill both as a soldier and as a potential spy. She expanded her craft studying under Baroness and has tucked away that Glaswegian accent behind an American flyover state dialect with almost eerie precision. She rapidly gained the trust of Lewis, who never met her in his guise as Cobra Commander and with startling alacrity has charmed her way into his good graces. We now have an ear in every meeting, in every call, in every late-night rant as Lewis roams the White House in his bunny slippers. Armada is perhaps the wrong name for her - she is our munitions cache to shoot our way out if things go wrong."
docsilence
Dungeon Daddy
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Okay, so Psyche-Out's file cards from the old days... guys I'm not sure Psyche-Out is actually a good guy. He's FUCKED UP.
Code Name: Psyche-Out
File Name: Rich, Kenneth D.
Primary Military Specialty: Psy-Ops
Secondary Military Specialty: Social Services Counselor
Birthplace: San Francisco, California
Rank: O-2 (1st. Lt.)
Subject is considered one of the highest-risk former members of the GI Joe Unit. On paper he appears to be an academic; but his research on wave-induced behavior modification has been used by the United States military with extreme effectiveness but, without Lt. Rich still on the payroll, the program struggles against inertia. His creative methods for combining primal fears in the human mind, such as fear of the dark or deceptive marketing and slogan techniques to elicit specific behaviors in enemy combatants were groundbreaking and the Lewis administration would like to see them used on protestors in the U.S. as well as on enemy troops overseas. Rich continues to work on new uses for his behavior modification technology, but his research appears to be behind firewalls that operate at military-grade, indicating he is working with other former Joes to protect his intellectual property.
"You meet Psyche-Out and you think: look at this dweeb, right? And he's a dweeb. That haircut. He's a terrible shot. He made lieutenant because of his advanced education, not because of experience on the battlefield. And then you get to know him a bit and you realize this dweeb is SMART. He's smart, and he understands people in a profound and deeply powerful way. He sees patterns in human behavior like a composer sees musical notes. I've never met anyone who understands other people with the level of sympathy and empathy Psyche-Out does. But then you find out what he DOES with that human understanding and you realize this dweeb is TERRIFYING. We're lucky he works for the good guys, because if he were on the flip-side of the coin, Psyche-Out could convince you to merk your own mother and feel like it was the good and just thing to do afterward. On the other hand, if you're buying a new car, bring him to the dealership with you and you'll walk out of there with the deal of a lifetime..."
Code Name: Psyche-Out
File Name: Rich, Kenneth D.
Primary Military Specialty: Psy-Ops
Secondary Military Specialty: Social Services Counselor
Birthplace: San Francisco, California
Rank: O-2 (1st. Lt.)
Subject is considered one of the highest-risk former members of the GI Joe Unit. On paper he appears to be an academic; but his research on wave-induced behavior modification has been used by the United States military with extreme effectiveness but, without Lt. Rich still on the payroll, the program struggles against inertia. His creative methods for combining primal fears in the human mind, such as fear of the dark or deceptive marketing and slogan techniques to elicit specific behaviors in enemy combatants were groundbreaking and the Lewis administration would like to see them used on protestors in the U.S. as well as on enemy troops overseas. Rich continues to work on new uses for his behavior modification technology, but his research appears to be behind firewalls that operate at military-grade, indicating he is working with other former Joes to protect his intellectual property.
"You meet Psyche-Out and you think: look at this dweeb, right? And he's a dweeb. That haircut. He's a terrible shot. He made lieutenant because of his advanced education, not because of experience on the battlefield. And then you get to know him a bit and you realize this dweeb is SMART. He's smart, and he understands people in a profound and deeply powerful way. He sees patterns in human behavior like a composer sees musical notes. I've never met anyone who understands other people with the level of sympathy and empathy Psyche-Out does. But then you find out what he DOES with that human understanding and you realize this dweeb is TERRIFYING. We're lucky he works for the good guys, because if he were on the flip-side of the coin, Psyche-Out could convince you to merk your own mother and feel like it was the good and just thing to do afterward. On the other hand, if you're buying a new car, bring him to the dealership with you and you'll walk out of there with the deal of a lifetime..."
Chooch555
Kirkland Signature Airbender
I love Psyche-Out the most.
docsilence
Dungeon Daddy
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I'm actually mad at myself for ignoring him so long. He's WEIRD.
docsilence
Dungeon Daddy
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One more for the night:
Code Name: Toxo-Viper
File Name: Various
Primary Military Specialty: Chemical Weapons
Secondary Military Specialty: Ordnance
Birthplace: Various
Rank: Viper Mark 1.5
The Lewis administration condemns the use of chemical weapons in the international theater of war. To poison the environment, to make it unlivable, and to use poison against civilians and soldiers is an abhorrent activity and it will not be tolerated. We have dispatched our own investigation team to look into these incidents. INTERNAL MEMO: Find out the source behind this leak - Major Bludd's use of Toxo-Vipers is effective and acceptable but we do not want any of these activities tied back to the United States military or to this administration. Monitor all communications coming out of the Toxo-Viper units - those men are miserable and it is entirely possible one of them has finally cracked and gone rogue. If that is the case, silence him permanently and make an example of him the others are aware of so this does not happen again.
"Airtight found evidence that Cobra forces were poisoning battlefields a few months back as part of his consulting work. That's always been Cobra's problem with the Toxo-Viper program - they put their worst men in the worst situations and give them the shoddiest gear humanly possible. The Vipers hate the work, they hate their commanders, and they don't care at all about the quality of their work as long as people are being poisoned because of it. But here's the worst part - when Airtight started investigating, he made contact with a guy on the inside, a Toxo-Viper who had reached the end of his rope and wanted out. We of course had their meeting monitored in case it turned out to be a setup, but it was legit and Sneak Peek had the whole area set up with surveillance cameras. That Toxo-Viper... We knew their suits weren't perfect. We knew a lot of those men got sick. That a lot of them don't make it home. But the things those chemicals had done to that man. his face, his EYES. He was a dead man walking, rotting from the inside, more tumor than man, looking to get some revenge on the way out..."
Code Name: Toxo-Viper
File Name: Various
Primary Military Specialty: Chemical Weapons
Secondary Military Specialty: Ordnance
Birthplace: Various
Rank: Viper Mark 1.5
The Lewis administration condemns the use of chemical weapons in the international theater of war. To poison the environment, to make it unlivable, and to use poison against civilians and soldiers is an abhorrent activity and it will not be tolerated. We have dispatched our own investigation team to look into these incidents. INTERNAL MEMO: Find out the source behind this leak - Major Bludd's use of Toxo-Vipers is effective and acceptable but we do not want any of these activities tied back to the United States military or to this administration. Monitor all communications coming out of the Toxo-Viper units - those men are miserable and it is entirely possible one of them has finally cracked and gone rogue. If that is the case, silence him permanently and make an example of him the others are aware of so this does not happen again.
"Airtight found evidence that Cobra forces were poisoning battlefields a few months back as part of his consulting work. That's always been Cobra's problem with the Toxo-Viper program - they put their worst men in the worst situations and give them the shoddiest gear humanly possible. The Vipers hate the work, they hate their commanders, and they don't care at all about the quality of their work as long as people are being poisoned because of it. But here's the worst part - when Airtight started investigating, he made contact with a guy on the inside, a Toxo-Viper who had reached the end of his rope and wanted out. We of course had their meeting monitored in case it turned out to be a setup, but it was legit and Sneak Peek had the whole area set up with surveillance cameras. That Toxo-Viper... We knew their suits weren't perfect. We knew a lot of those men got sick. That a lot of them don't make it home. But the things those chemicals had done to that man. his face, his EYES. He was a dead man walking, rotting from the inside, more tumor than man, looking to get some revenge on the way out..."
Ru1977
The Irishman
Voltar was great... I think you turned that enigmatic quality into something interesting. Also great choice for the commentary, REALLY gave him great flavor.
Hot shit, I loved Armada. I know enough about her to see what you pulled from and her being in that position is so exciting. Funny how I picture her in the white house in regular corporate kinda clothes but still want that figure just from this card.
I never had Psyche-Out or even knew anything about him really but that was not what I was expecting! Who is the commentary? Clutch? I love how the things he thinks of for Psyche-Out to do with his abilities are merking your mother or getting a good deal on a car. Sincerely, brilliant.
Toxo Vipers are another I never got into but that was chilling, and I of course love the cameos. I also appreciate the cards that make me hate Lewis. They need to kick his ass all the way down Pennsylvania Avenue already!
Hot shit, I loved Armada. I know enough about her to see what you pulled from and her being in that position is so exciting. Funny how I picture her in the white house in regular corporate kinda clothes but still want that figure just from this card.
I never had Psyche-Out or even knew anything about him really but that was not what I was expecting! Who is the commentary? Clutch? I love how the things he thinks of for Psyche-Out to do with his abilities are merking your mother or getting a good deal on a car. Sincerely, brilliant.
Toxo Vipers are another I never got into but that was chilling, and I of course love the cameos. I also appreciate the cards that make me hate Lewis. They need to kick his ass all the way down Pennsylvania Avenue already!
docsilence
Dungeon Daddy
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It's funny, I was most excited to write Voltar and found I just didn't quite have as much of a dramatic hook as I wanted so I leaned in on the chapter I'd call Destro's Pending Rebellion (aka Destro's parting FUCK YOOOOOUUU to Lewis). Armada I knew nothing about other than what you specifically had pointed out, but when I was rereading what she's done in the comics I'm like - we can work with this in this arc, this is WEIRDLY appropriate.
I always thought Psyche-Out was a bizarre character but his file cards are FUCKING TERRIFYING. Like, the Joes have a guy working on MIND CONTROL? And he uses his devices to AMPLIFY PEOPLE BEING AFRAID OF THE DARK? And worse, HE UNDERSTANDS MARKETING? Psyche-Out might actually be a bad person. But I'm now very happy they're making him in Classified cos he got a lot cooler in my mind.
I actually rewrote the ending to the Toxo-Viper card based on Lenny and crew saying the Classified Toxos will be gross. The OG cards basically say their suits have holes in them and Cobra is giving them cancer, and their later cards mention that the gear has been upgraded but they still have the worst job in Cobra and are hateful fucking monsters. Fascinating villains as a crew.
Ru1977
The Irishman
That was great though. I totally get feeling that way, and it was smart to pivot. If the individual isn't getting you there, then yeah, go for how they fit into the greater picture.
Jesus, I told you something about her? I genuinely don't remember now, heh. but yeah, that REALLY worked.
You aren't kidding. So he's really the other side of the Mindbender coin. I would LOVE to know who Hama based... well, both of them on really. Christ.
That was a great move. I think maybe more than any card you've done for a character without a figure yet, this one felt the more anticipatory of that figure, if that makes sense, and that's probably exactly why.
Right, isn't the position basically a punishment? I guess they have several of those. It's funny that some of the extreme conditions characters on the Joe side are because they love the arctic, or they have an intense passion for hostile environments, while Cobra treats it as a way to torment their troops.