G.I. Joe Classified Series: The Chatty Pointless Thread & Performance Art

[Damien]

I *do* think it needs to be changed/blanked out (maybe *needs* is a strong word, but get rid of it), because it isn’t *necessary* and it’s aggressively lame and in poor taste for our current world.

See, for me and my tastes, it feels like making Tiger Stripe Wolverine without any of the black stripes. It's never going to look or feel right if they blank it out or slap him in some tacticool plate carrier to cover it up. If you're going to bother making ARAH Salvo - it's gotta be in the t-shirt with a slogan on it.
But I do think there's wiggle room on what it says as long as it's kind of in the same vein without the negative implications. Like the Might of Right thing. To me, that fixes it without leaving it empty or making any drastic changes to the design.

That said: with the amount of tantruming some folks did over Gung-Ho’s off-brand tattoo, maybe it would be a source of bitching. Still: it would be a good change.

Okay, it's fair to say there's an aggressive element in any fanbase that's gonna get mad about literally fucking everything and all of my comments about people will or won't complain about something implicitly ignore the existence of those people AS GOD INTENDED.



In other news - did anyone see that Australo-Brit or whatever the fuck he is that's always ten feet (sorry 3.048 meters) up Bobby Vala's dickhole made a video about Jingoism Duke and the crux of his complaint was that the pro-America Duke figure was made in Asia? What a fucking clown.
Does this guy know where most US Flags for commercial sale are made? Or where like... the entire 'REAL AMERICAN HERO' line was and still is produced? What an absolutely ridiculous focal point for your irritation with a figure that deserves a lot of irritation.

 

[canprime]

See, for me and my tastes, it feels like making Tiger Stripe Wolverine without any of the black stripes. It's never going to look or feel right if they blank it out or slap him in some tacticool plate carrier to cover it up. If you're going to bother making ARAH Salvo - it's gotta be in the t-shirt with a slogan on it.
But I do think there's wiggle room on what it says as long as it's kind of in the same vein without the negative implications. Like the Might of Right thing. To me, that fixes it without leaving it empty or making any drastic changes to the design.



Okay, it's fair to say there's an aggressive element in any fanbase that's gonna get mad about literally fucking everything and all of my comments about people will or won't complain about something implicitly ignore the existence of those people AS GOD INTENDED.



In other news - did anyone see that Australo-Brit or whatever the fuck he is that's always ten feet (sorry 3.048 meters) up Bobby Vala's dickhole made a video about Jingoism Duke and the crux of his complaint was that the pro-America Duke figure was made in Asia? What a fucking clown.
Does this guy know where most US Flags for commercial sale are made? Or where like... the entire 'REAL AMERICAN HERO' line was and still is produced? What an absolutely ridiculous focal point for your irritation with a figure that deserves a lot of irritation.

I guess it comes down to how politically correct Hasbro decision makers are going to be if they ever get around to making Salvo.

Obviously times have changed and while the saying is fairly innocuous to me I can understand how the legal types might be more fervent in their objection. I mean I am not going to be surprised in the least if they ever do Cross Country and remove the rebel flag from his look. I would be surprised if they take away his hat though, but I could see it under the guise of being a "modern, Classified" take on the character and not an exact copy update.

I think Analog Toys had a falling out with Vala. I only check his channel out once in a blue moon so I can't speak to it, but he doesn't seem to be involved with Vala, or mention him, anymore. Same goes for Vala as I haven't seen him mentioned, or on the channel, in some time. Though again I don't watch too many of his videos either.

 

[Damien]

I think Analog Toys had a falling out with Vala. I only check his channel out once in a blue moon so I can't speak to it, but he doesn't seem to be involved with Vala, or mention him, anymore. Same goes for Vala as I haven't seen him mentioned, or on the channel, in some time. Though again I don't watch too many of his videos either.

Now I kinda want to know. Just for the lulz of these idiots eating each other.

 

[AceofKnaves]

politically correct

Ha. Under current “politics”, this is indeed mild compared to the vile garbage that comes out of our “leaders’” mouths. My objection has nothing to do with politics, per se: it’s just a cowardly, douchebag thing to have on a shirt and it was that back when the first figure was released as well: not something a hero would wear, more a slogan for a villain. I remember seeing him on the pegs and thinking the figure looked awesome but the shirt made him look like a dick who didn’t belong on the Joes. I remember buying someone else instead, I think Heavy Duty.

I am not going to be surprised in the least if they ever do Cross Country and remove the rebel flag from his look.

Even the Collector’s Club edited the flag.

I would be surprised if they take away his hat though,

They *should* keep the hat but color it blue.


But seriously: it’s disgusting that a guy dressed as a traitorous slave-monger ever made it into the line in the first place. No place for it in the 80s, no place for it now.
Vile.

 

[Damien]

No place for it in the 80s

Not a big Dukes fan, huh?

 

[canprime]

Ha. Under current “politics”, this is indeed mild compared to the vile garbage that comes out of our “leaders’” mouths. My objection has nothing to do with politics, per se: it’s just a cowardly, douchebag thing to have on a shirt and it was that back when the first figure was released as well: not something a hero would wear, more a slogan for a villain. I remember seeing him on the pegs and thinking the figure looked awesome but the shirt made him look like a dick who didn’t belong on the Joes. I remember buying someone else instead, I think Heavy Duty.


Even the Collector’s Club edited the flag.


They *should* keep the hat but color it blue.


But seriously: it’s disgusting that a guy dressed as a traitorous slave-monger ever made it into the line in the first place. No place for it in the 80s, no place for it now.
Vile.

The "zeitgeist" of America has never taken the losers of the civil war out to the woodshed and put them out of the US' misery. It has only been in the recent past (10-20 years) that more and more the idea of glorifying them and their imagery has taken on a stink. Even then I'm sure if you go to certain parts of the US south the imagery and pride is still strong (even moreso under Trump).

When Cross Country was first released the Dukes of Hazzard was only just off the air after seven successful seasons. So while some may have been upset about the imagery, the wider media/population sure wasn't.

 

[AceofKnaves]

The "zeitgeist" of America has never taken the losers of the civil war out to the woodshed and put them out of the US' misery

No need for us to exacerbate the moral failure of the past.

Even then I'm sure if you go to certain parts of the US south the imagery and pride is still strong (even moreso under Trump).

All the more reason not to play into their disgusting inclinations.

When Cross Country was first released the Dukes of Hazzard was only just off the air after seven successful seasons. So while some may have been upset about the imagery, the wider media/population sure wasn't.

Not a good reason to do it, though. I was eight and it was obviously foul.

Not a big Dukes fan, huh?

Huge fan as a very VERY small child. Soon as I found out what that flag was and what it stood for, I was out. And ashamed of myself for not figuring it out sooner.

 

[Ru1977]

One really cool thing about the guys at Hisstank never updating any news on their site is how easy it is to find the toy fair pictures still.

 

[docsilence]

As much as I like to dunk on Salvo, even I, who will champion any "fix your shit" updates to dumb stuff from the past, would be fine with him wearing the dumb shirt, though a tweak of some kind would be my preference. Of all the dumb things 80s toys did, that shirt is, just in my solo opinion, an eye roll instead of a HOLY SHIT. Which is what fucking Cross Country's belt would be if they released him as-was. Salvo's shirt gets some clowning on, Cross Country gets a segment on CNN.

(Part of me wants Cross Country in some format because he's so fucking stupid. We bust on him ETERNALLY in this thread and over in the fan fic stuff. He's a truly dumbass character but I wouldn't mind seeing a "so, y'all, I read a history book and did you know Americans OWNED people? How crazy is that! So anyway I gots me a new belt and it says BLM on it" revisionist version of him or something.

I was thinking about this thread earlier and I actually had the funniest way they could fix Salvo: release him in a two-pack with Bombstrike but put her in a shirt that says ASK ME ABOUT MY FEMINIST AGENDA a la that Mockingbird comics run. (Side note, both S. and I have a version of that shirt and she trolled men with it for two years at various comic cons she hung out at my booth.) I'm kidding because I know Bombstrike in a non-comics outfit would piss people off and two-packs generally suck, but still, I would be ENTERTAINED.

UNRELATED: can anyone with the Royal Guard confirm if it's two heads, two helmets, or four heads in the box? I was planning on getting two but now I'm curious how many variations you can make with them.

 

[AceofKnaves]

Of all the dumb things 80s toys did, that shirt is, just in my solo opinion, an eye roll instead of a HOLY SHIT.

Ultimately I agree with this.

Just . . . man, that shirt is something a bully would wear. And yeah, in “real life” lots of military guys are obviously bullies. I just hate thinking of any of the Joes being like that, and to have such an up-front, deliberate “hey look I’m an aggressive brute” thing on a “good guy” makes me feel shitty.

 

[docsilence]

Ultimately I agree with this.

Just . . . man, that shirt is something a bully would wear. And yeah, in “real life” lots of military guys are obviously bullies. I just hate thinking of any of the Joes being like that, and to have such an up-front, deliberate “hey look I’m an aggressive brute” thing on a “good guy” makes me feel shitty.

Yeah, unfortunately in a lot of ways, as we all clearly love this franchise and the characters, to me that shirt is one of those rare moments where the Joe is saying something a literal villain would say or wear. I mean... it's something our fucking president would say.

I mean if we lived in a better world there wouldn't be that context, but we live in the world we live in, and I bet a lot of us know someone who would wear that and not do it ironically. (Bottom line I'd rather they just do salvo in a brown tee shirt, or I dunno, an explosion graphic or something.)

 

[Chooch555]

As a kid I could never remember which order the words were in and gave them near zero thought. I just thought his helmet, box missile launcher, and gun that shoots landmines was badass.

 

[Damien]

Just . . . man, that shirt is something a bully would wear. And yeah, in “real life” lots of military guys are obviously bullies. I just hate thinking of any of the Joes being like that, and to have such an up-front, deliberate “hey look I’m an aggressive brute” thing on a “good guy” makes me feel shitty.

I like the idea that ARAH Salvo is Salvo mid-conversion. He's joined up with the Joes, he's still an aggressive dickhead. He, like maybe a good many (but not enough) conservatives and centrists - wants to do good but his head is all spun up the wrong direction. He shows up at the Pit in that shirt and the rest of the guys are like 'we've got some work to do.'
At the end of the day, he wants to stop the bad guys, and he does recognize who the bad guys are. And like with Clutch's sexism - we can work on the rest. Then the day comes when Salvo is facing down Major Bludd and MB throws that very line in Salvo's face; that Cobra can do what it does because it is strong enough to do it.
He's wearing a different shirt the next day, and he's a lot quieter and less bombastic than he was the day before.

(Part of me wants Cross Country in some format because he's so fucking stupid. We bust on him ETERNALLY in this thread and over in the fan fic stuff. He's a truly dumbass character but I wouldn't mind seeing a "so, y'all, I read a history book and did you know Americans OWNED people? How crazy is that! So anyway I gots me a new belt and it says BLM on it" revisionist version of him or something.

Yeeeeeeeeesssssssssssss

 

[docsilence]

At the end of the day, he wants to stop the bad guys, and he does recognize who the bad guys are. And like with Clutch's sexism - we can work on the rest. Then the day comes when Salvo is facing down Major Bludd and MB throws that very line in Salvo's face; that Cobra can do what it does because it is strong enough to do it.

Shows up the next day and he's just wearing a blank shirt.
"Where's you're..."
"I ain't ready to talk about it, shut up, I'm processing." *picks up bazooka and walks outside*

Although I also love busting on Clutch, but he's not wearing a "whip 'em out Wednesday" or "Steak and BJs" tee shirt. Although, and I find this objectively hilarious, the goober has a pinup girlie tattooed on his right arm in Classified, which is just perfectly on brand. Of course he's got a pinup tat. "Want to watch her dance?"

(Remind me to tell you some time why if an old man asks you if you want to see his Marilyn Monroe tattoo, you ask "where is it" before you say "yes.")

 

[Damien]

(Remind me to tell you some time why if an old man asks you if you want to see his Marilyn Monroe tattoo, you ask "where is it" before you say "yes.")

I'm open to the story, but also my answer is always going to be 'no.' I don't want to see anyone's tattoos. That's a weird thing to offer up.