Mint In Boks
Pensive
- Joined
- Jun 14, 2025
- Messages
- 346
God, I hate to ruin this perfect joke with an “um, ackshually…” but it’s SO MUCH STUPIDER, LAZIER, AND GREEDIER than that…Oh oh oh... me.. pick me! I can answer this one from my extensive knowledge of the 4H.
You see....... they only had five ideas, but they really wanted to sell twelve.
So the four main colors they made are an Homage to the Mr Bones candy, so not even an original idea to start just saw the Super7 ReActions and decided “oh! That’s something we can steal!”
Okay so a $25 multi color Skeleton that’s fun, glad they’re branching out from HeMan, he can go with the other homages…
BUT… what if they sold each color as it’s own Skelly and made YOU do the color mixing and matching at home so they could sell FOUR Skellies?!
Okay, so another Skelly four pack for $100, that’s cool… I don’t need four Mr Bones rattling around but that would be funny spring time home decor at least…
But wait! Selling four figures for one homage is cool, but what if… what if TWELVE?! Blind boxed with a one per case rare chase!!! And even though the four Skellies you’re most likely to get are pastel Easter fun boys, the secret fifth one is BLACK! Yeah! Like you asked for to go with the dragon!!! Better buy a case of 12 for $250 to make sure you get him!
And that’s where they lost me, TWELVE FUCKING SKELETONS to build ONE FIGURE based on a Candy I’m not even sure I’ve ever eaten… fuck off with that!
Also worth noting a completely naked bone color skeleton is one of the hardest figures to find in this fucking high fantasy toy line (most of the skellies use the crotch piece that requires a belt and dick flap instead of the bare pelvis, and have the two piece forearms/shins instead of the one piece bare bone limbs) so if the Horsemen wanted to sell a 12 pack of Skellies all they would have to do is say “12 back of basic bone boys, come and get it, ya sloppy bitches!” And the cult would have dropped everything to buy three to four boxes a piece for diorama filler (ya know… for that castle playset they’re gonna get around to building someday)
In their greed the Horsemen will always pass up the easiest option for the stupidest one.