G.I. Joe Head Canon & Fanfic Filecards

[docsilence]

Well, depends on who you ask! That commentary says otherwise.

Agreed. I love that. He's the flipside of Keb Mo, the kid from Compton who plays Blues instead of Hip Hop.

I did not see it a billion times, but definitely a few. When half the house was sick this last weekend, I quoted this to my wife:

Ah man, back when I played guitar, which I have done less and less as the kids get older, I pretty much only played blues. I miss that...

My life as a lead singer back in my misspent youth: 90s grunge/pop lead singer; blues singer; prog rock front man. To this day I'll get comments about why I pronounce words a certain way if I'm singing and the answer is always "I learned this song from someone infinitely cooler than I'll ever be."

 

[Ru1977]

So you're saying we should form a band.

 

[TheGillMan]

My life as a lead singer back in my misspent youth: 90s grunge/pop lead singer; blues singer; prog rock front man. To this day I'll get comments about why I pronounce words a certain way if I'm singing and the answer is always "I learned this song from someone infinitely cooler than I'll ever be."

Oh man...I MISS singing in a band. I absolutely loved it.

 

[DarthDre758]

I sang in a band in my first apartment. By band, I mean my good friend who could play drums better than anyone, and the guy who slept on our couch who had a guitar with four strings. We did a bunch of Sublime covers, and had a couple of original songs. We got a couple of noise violations, so I'd say we made it big.

 

[Ru1977]

I mostly just played with various friends at their houses, but when I was in a band in high school, I always hid behind the drummer as I played. I'll be 50 next year and I keep fantasizing about getting whoever I can in my friend circle to play a few songs with me in the backyard for friends and family, just a little performance thing, but I also don't know why I fantasize about it because the idea freaks me out almost cripplingly.

 

[WrathofTaco]

I feel that very much, never was in a band but I was in choir and did musicals every year in high school. Now the idea of singing in front of anyone in a serious capacity is terrifying.

 

[NORM]

I've always loved playing in bands. I'm a mediocre guitarist, but I can sing and play, so that alone tends to be enough. But I have played in bands since I was in HS. After college I played with an all originals band, til I became a teacher and realized the schedules conflicted too much (played a midnight gig, then had to teach at 7am, that was all it took to quit). Took a break, but then got the itch with some of my colleagues and we'd crash the student talent shows. Drummer was the band teacher, bassist was the orchestra director, choir director would sing and play keyboards, and me being the least talented of the group, got to be the leader. They made me sound good! Now I have a regular gig with another colleague, a biology teacher. She and I do acoustic covers at a restaurant 3x a month for the past 5 years. It's a lot of fun. And wild to think that this makes me a professional musician.

 

[Chooch555]

Man, Bradley Whitford played the best assholes.

 

[Ru1977]

Always, yeah!

 

[Swoop716]

Code Name: Frag-Viper
File Name: Various
Primary Military Specialty: Grenade Assault Operations
Secondary Military Specialty: Explosive Ordinance
Birthplace: Various
Rank: Cobra Viper Mark 2

Officially, members of Viper Squad 7R46 were killed in action during an operation in Sierra Gordo. Mercenaries all, no honors were given and no tears were shed. Members of an international terrorist organization, few, if any, had messages sent home to families confirming their deaths. Their bodies were left in unmarked graves, carrion as forgotten soldiers often are. Unofficially, the bodies of Viper Squad 7R46 were retrieved and turned over to Dr. Mindbender's laboratory as fodder for a black-label experiment. After the mediocre effectiveness of the BAT program, Mindbender looked at ways to make use of organic material to supplement the robotics used in the BATs. The 7R46 unit provided that organic material. Vipers who were dead on arrival proved to be failures; but any with some remaining brain activity were successful implanted with control chips, their bodies refurbished through grafts and engineered organs. More manageable and responsive than BATs and easier to conceal among civilian populations, these new Frag-Vipers are shaping up to become a combat unit of the future. Mindbender considers them to be an early success.

"You can tell they're still in there somewhere, when you talk to them. Their voices are hollow, their eyes are dark and empty, but sometimes, when you're looking at one, when you're issuing a Frag-Viper orders, there's a flicker, a spark of the man they once were. But it's not a good feeling. Nah, I prefer the psychopathic unpredictability of the BATs to the Frag-Vipers. At least with the BATs you know it's just a robot. But with the Frag-Vipers, you can see that man's soul trapped in limbo behind those artificial eyes. And that soul is screaming, screaming to be released from the prison Mindbender put them in. Do me a favor - if I'm ever mortally wounded in combat? Put one right through my brain pan. Don't leave any scraps for Mindbender to bolt onto one of his Frankenstein monstrosities.”

Holy Shit!

 

[Damien]

Awesome stuff. Frag still gives me the body horror heebee jeebees. Or I guess what you might call the 'medical show ickies.' Trapped in your own body? No thank you.

I dig the idea that HD is totally out of the game and just wants to not be at war anymore, but I also dig the 'I don't buy it' line - like there's no way a guy like HD could watch what's happening and feel okay just teaching music.

 

[docsilence]

Awesome stuff. Frag still gives me the body horror heebee jeebees. Or I guess what you might call the 'medical show ickies.' Trapped in your own body? No thank you.

I dig the idea that HD is totally out of the game and just wants to not be at war anymore, but I also dig the 'I don't buy it' line - like there's no way a guy like HD could watch what's happening and feel okay just teaching music.

Yeah, I definitely don't think HD is out of it completely - he's definitely lying to himself.

Same vibe on the medical horror for the frag vipers. The classified tweak is actually more interesting, if far more nightmarish, than the original "we throw grenades far!" version.

 

[Ru1977]

Agreed, that element added so much to them. I never would have gotten the figure if not for what was under the helmet.

 

[docsilence]

Code Name: Big Lob (Disavowed)
File Name: Sanders, Bradley J.
Primary Military Specialty: Infantry/Grenadier
Secondary Military Specialty: Special Services
Birthplace: Chicago, Illinois
Rank: E-4

Subject was already considered a reserve member at the time the GI Joe Unit was disbanded and had his "Rawhides" contract honorably terminated along with the rest of the team. He might have been a bigger star in the sports world had he not spent so much time serving with the Joes; however, he has been able to convert that combination of public service and sports acumen into a career in broadcasting, and has become a popular commentator on not just basketball but Major League Baseball and the NFL. The Lewis administration was content to simply let him be a benign public persona until news of his political aspirations surfaced. Sanders has pulled papers to run for Mayor of Chicago in the upcoming election. In no way does Lewis want anyone from the former GI Joe Unit in a high-profile political office. Unfortunately, it seems Sanders has lived a scandal-free life thus far, though we are looking at ways we can fabricate something that could derail his candidacy.

"Big Lob makes no sense to me. He could've been an NBA All-Star if he'd put his full energy into it, but instead he's running around with us playing hero. He could've been a huge TV sportscaster but he couldn't stop playing. He could've been a Harlem Globetrotter but he couldn't commit to their travel schedule. I think, honestly, Big Lob was just trying to find that one thing he'd be best at, because he was too good at everything he ever tried. He wanted something to challenge him. If sports couldn't challenge him, maybe the military could. If the military didn't challenge him, maybe being a TV star would. So yeah, maybe running for mayor is the thing he needs. Maybe he's finally found the challenge that'll let him be his best self. Something that doesn't feel easy to him, so he can be proud of it. And it sure wouldn't hurt to have the Mayor of Chicago on our team."

 

[Ru1977]

Man. That was wonderful! Really gave him an awesome plot, which really shouldn't be surprising i guess since that's just your M.O. with these.