G.I. Joe Head Canon & Fanfic Filecards

No. Now you have to do a civilian entrenched Snake Eyes. Saul Goodman style, eking out an existence as a key holder at Jimmy John's or the Wal-Mart produce department, and then one day he just has to let loose.

You need the scene where the street level asshole stockroom guys who harass college student cashiers and single mom customers bully the mute new hire and then ... justice.
 
I feel like that's a perfect, gets-a-cheer-in-a-theater moment, but I've romanticized Snake Eyes too much to have him working in a Walmart. It's a trope that has never appealed to me as a writer. I've got SE as a cryptid. I don't want to give his file card away too much, but how much pants-shitting would Cobra be doing if Snake Eyes retired but then just went off the grid, never claimed his pension, and just let himself be caught on camera often enough to keep them all awake at night wondering what he's up to?
 
Okay, then how about.... Civilian entrenched Beachhead, Saul Goodman style, eking out an existence as a key holder at Jimmy John's or the Wal-Mart produce department, and then one day he just has to let loose. You need the scene where the street level asshole stockroom guys who harass college student cashiers and single mom customers bully the new funny looking hire with the Forrest Gump accent and then ... justice.
 
And after he beats the shit out of them, finally puts on the familiar balaclava, and the audience who didn't pick up on the clues finally say "ohhhhhhh that's who that is."
 
Beachhead goes postal. Remember his file card. He doesn't get mad, he gets even. (Always bugged me that Larry said Beachhead never got angry and the cartoon made him the Joes Raphael.)
 
Oh man, not Beachhead but SOMEONE in the Joes squad has got to feel strongly enough about how the post office is a service and not a business and is going to make that both his problem and a problem for anyone who thinks otherwise...
 
Ru1977 said:
Agreed. I actually was hoping you would feel that way and figure out who that would be.
Click to expand...
I'm absolutely going to cross reference the post office and Joes tonight. There's gotta be someone who works. Or maybe it's just one of the comms guys. Breaker? (Breaker feels like a cipher character, not a lot of there-there, where the other comms guys have tons of flavor text. Like Dial Tone 100% is installing some kind of underground comms system by hand or something.)
 
Yeah, I was racking my brain for anyone with post office connections. Surely one of these guys did mailroom or something!
 
When I was in Basic, you got smoked if your letters had lipstick, perfume, cute writing on the outside.

I don't remember what this guy even did, but my bunkmate wrote this other guy in our barracks a letter from 123 Fake Street, Texas, and wrote a bunch of lovey-dovey girlfriendy stuff all over the envelope. SWAK, etc.

He dropped it in the mailbox. It came right back the next day or so.

Drill sergeant saw everything on the envelope and made this guy do push-ups and flutter kicks for like half an hour straight until he got his letter.

Which was just an envelope with a blank piece of paper in it.

Hilarious at the time. I will never forget that kid with his Texas drawl:

One two three FAKE Street?!

It sounded just like the New York City in those old Pace salsa commercials.
 
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