G.I. Joe Classified - News & Updates

Does it help that Schlub is a monstrous chimera voiced by Matt Berry?
Matt Berry was not who I would have had voice Overkill but now I can't unhear it. Maybe Matt Berry doing a bit as the voice of a guy who spent some time in the Army reserves, made it his whole personality, joined Cobra, and then mowed down the nicest guy in the entire Joes roster with such glee you could see his hardon through his SAW Viper uniform.
 
Hit & Run and Lifeline arrived and I do not love them. They both feel kinda soft and have odd proportions. Narrow torsos/shoulders, big diapers, Lifeline has big hands. H & R has that clip pocket on his chest but just one clip to go with the rifle. At least his grappling hook and whatever that handle is can store in the duffel. I can’t find a place to plug in Lifeline’s oxygen mask, and that IV has no where to go either. The pistol sling gets in the way of his backpack plug, which is also very rubbery. Both figures just feel very unsatisfactory. Hope Night Viper and Big Lob are better.
 
That's unfortunate. Honestly, I didn't say anything before, but just looking at the promo pics I was thinking, "Eh.....these don't look that great".

Is this the first time I've ever thought that about anything in this line? It does not happen often.

They are filling out the 86 roster but I still have shockingly little representation from that year in Classified. I have Hawk.......and I think that's it? I have Beachhead but it's the Cobra Island version, not the retro card. Does he count? On the Cobra side I have Serpentor, Mindbender, Zander, Zarana, Viper, and BAT, so I guess 86 Cobra is well represented, but not Joe.
 
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Classified's '86 roster has been great so far. I think Lifeline is the second misstep, first being Leatherneck's stature. That's fixable with a neck swap (I used Dusty, I believe this was @AceofKnaves suggestion). There's Dial Tone, who's very faithful to the original design and more available now. Low Light is excellent. As is retro card Beachhead, who should immediately replace Cobra Island Beachhead in everyone's collection. Sci Fi is fantastic. Wet Suit is another stand out. Mainframe is fine, and his shortness adds diversity to the silhouettes.
 
Hit & Run and Lifeline arrived and I do not love them. They both feel kinda soft and have odd proportions. Narrow torsos/shoulders, big diapers, Lifeline has big hands. H & R has that clip pocket on his chest but just one clip to go with the rifle. At least his grappling hook and whatever that handle is can store in the duffel. I can’t find a place to plug in Lifeline’s oxygen mask, and that IV has no where to go either. The pistol sling gets in the way of his backpack plug, which is also very rubbery. Both figures just feel very unsatisfactory. Hope Night Viper and Big Lob are better.
"do not love them" is a good way of describing those two. (And a @yojoebro82 said, I don't think it's something I've said about this line either). A bad Classified is still more fun than most other lines to me but those big hands on Lifeline really throw me off and yeah, his gear's a little wonky, like he needed just a bit more to make it all work - each item is a very cool idea that doesn't quiiiiiit land.

Hit & Run has the most rubbery, ah, ass and groin piece? I've seen in this line, feels like McFarlane material and he just kind of feels a little messy. I don't think he's a bad figure, just not up to the usual Classified level. It's more noticeable because I happened to find the HALO trooper for ten bucks online this week and so I've got two "generic green-painted soldiers" side by side and the generic is just overall better. But again, these two side by side are the best generic green army men I've ever owned - I just think H&R suffers from how INCREDIBLE his peers are.

I really need to swap the hands on Lifeline. If anyone else finds a pair that have any luck I'd love to hear it. He looks like someone from a viral video who palms a tallboy in a way that unmans everyone else at the barbecue.
 
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david-grohl-big-hands.gif
 
Having had the whole wave in hand for a couple of days . . . yeah, there are weird things going on with Lifeline ans Hit and Run. HaR’s diaper is indeed bigger and has less clearance for his legs going forward, Lifeline does have those big hands that are odd. I’m wondering if the diaper thing has to do with all of HaR’s web gear? Not sure. Anyway, I *do* like them, a lot, but they have weird issues. Also HaR and Night Viper are very thin-framed, much less bulky than some other figures. It works for NV because it adds to the slinky armored sniper thing, but HaR just looks like kind of a skinny guy. Big Lob is much more “classic Classified”, as is Mole Rat obviously.
All that said: it’s a great wave, and NV and BL are true standouts for the line. NV in particular is truly excellent, and his design feels more contemporary than it did back in 88. Also NV *does* have calf swivels, or the equivalent: his feet have embedded ankle joints that twist where they connect to the lower leg.
 
Yeah, for all the nitpicks I have, H&R has been on my desk for a few days and I keep posing him and enjoying the figure so it's not bad, it's just not like "this is ridiculous" level good like most of Classified. I didn't notice he was thin, but having just written him up for that Disavowed project, it weirdly fits with his backstory - he grew up hungry and lost, and his whole story is basically "dude started running from his life at age 8 and never stopped" so having him be lean just kinda works.

I do have a spare set of the greenshirt hands handy I could try on Lifeline, but him being one of my favorite characters fro that ARAH year I don't want to fuck him up by accident - I'd rather have one mildly dissatisfying version than break one and feel compelled to get a replacement already.
 
Just gonna point out the video I posted in one of these threads from the guy who owns a shop or something? Did mention this set. The list he gave was:

King Cobra Commander
Stealth Flight Pod, Green Ferret
IG Destro/Despoiler
Dawn Moreno
Legacy infantry army trooper
Legacy snow rescue trooper
Raptor master with Raptor
Dusty/Sandstorm
Lara Croft
IG Mistress Armada
New Unknown Cobra Character
New Unknown GI Joe Character
"Rugged Duke", possibly Energon
Toxo Viper
 
Ugh, why? Looks like that Snake Eyes is just a repaint of the body they used or the SE/Timber two-pack and that body is maybe the worst SE body they've done so far.
 
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