G.I. Joe Head Canon & Fanfic Filecards

The Eel one is one of the few I remember for some reason so I knew exactly what you were going with there. Very cool, they were my first two Cobras after I went all-in on the line, and I have them by each other on the shelf so I'm very happy with today's cards!
 
The Eel one is one of the few I remember for some reason so I knew exactly what you were going with there. Very cool, they were my first two Cobras after I went all-in on the line, and I have them by each other on the shelf so I'm very happy with today's cards!
The OG Eel design was one of those figures I loved as a kid and was like "why he gotta be a bad guy?" I love how Classified just kind of improved on the old design.
 
He was clearly a bad guy though, look at how furrowed his brows were!

Also, getting back to guys who look neat without their helmet on, I kinda want to get another Eel head to put on someone because unhelmeted looks cool too.
 
I was thinking the Eel card was kind of ho hum until the last line. @docsilence you are a diabolical genius.
I REALLY struggled to find a reason to write up the Eels. What the heck do Cobra divers have to do with the administration? And then I checked out their OG file card and was like orrrr maybe they are part of a hostile takeover of our coastline...
Excellent, as always. I am now way too invested in the horror side of G.I. Joe that, to my mind, didn't exist until these filecards.
Looking back the Cobra La stuff is such wild body horror that it doesn't feel like it belongs in GI Joe but really, so much of what Cobra's doing, the body modifications, the mind control, etc., is soft horror and then you've got tentacle kings and bio-mechanical kinky monsters out of nowhere in the movie and here we are. Though really my inspo for the horror started with whatever the hell inspired Classified to go so hard with Crystal Ball.
 
Code Name: Snow Serpent Commander
File Name: Redacted
Primary Military Specialty: Arctic Operations
Secondary Military Specialty: Infantry
Birthplace: Redacted
Rank: Cobra Trooper Mark 3

Subject is the only survivor of an off-the-books operation ordered by President Lewis to a remote location in the Himalayas. The Snow Serpent Commander in question was able to temporarily reprogram an Arctic BAT to help him make his way back down the mountain after the wholesale slaughter of his squad. Footage recovered from the BAT is classified top secret as are all commentary from interviews with the commanding officer upon his return. President Lewis is insistent that once the Snow Serpent Commander is recovered well enough from his injuries - he also sustained hypothermia and frostbite on his return journey - the officer lead a second expedition to the site. The Snow Serpent Commander has put in a request for retirement, which has been denied.

"I've been to the ends of the Earth. Places where I swear to God men and my men, we were the only human beings to ever tread our heels on that soil and snow. I've heard whistles in the dark night. Babies crying where no babies should ever be. I swear I've heard voices call my name at high altitudes, when the oxygen is low and you start to hear and see things that aren't there. I shake off haints and goblins better than anyone. I know an oxygen-deprivation hallucination when I see one. That thing that came out of the mountain was no vision. It was meat and bone and claw and wing and it tore my men apart like a dog worrying a squirrel to death. But it wasn't no monster. No, I looked that thing in the eyes. I saw a human face staring back at me. Too big, yeah, with thick bones and teeth that gleamed in the moonlight, but it was a man. And it was not alone. No, it was a harbinger. You can't make me go back there. I've seen hell and it arrives on beating leather wings. I won't go. What's that? Yeah I have a daughter, why... Oh I'll kill you if you..." [The interview cuts out at this point.]
Holy Shit
 
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